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Our
Mission, Part I.
To kill other members of other
Quake II clans. Sure, it's
probably not the best goal from a mental health point of view, but
look at it this way...if we were cutthroat corporate CEO-types,
slashing our way up through the business world without the slightest
qualm about how our deeds were affecting those we'd knifed along the
way, we'd be admired and filthy rich to boot. And we'd
have a different babe every week. And nice cars, and a butler to
bring us cognac by the fire. See? Video games rule!
We don't mind killing each other, either.
See, I think if the post office had computers that their employees
could play Quake on, there would be no need for the phrase "going
postal." I mean, you never hear anybody say, "Did
you hear about the shooting at UMass? They say he went
Transit!"
On the other hand, If Deslock and Barclay
don't restore my goddamn Netscape bookmarks back soon...lock and
load. Our Mission,
Part II.
To waste phenominal amounts of
time. See, we could be real go-getters, out there becoming
the nation's next generation of corporate CEO-types. Working
hard to better ourselves and all that happy horseshit. I mean, I
could be the next J.P. Morgan. But what fun is that? If
you think about it, that'd be a real pain in the ass--trying to keep
all our babes happy, making sure the butler wasn't pilfering from
petty cash, ensuring that the chauffeur was keeping our cars polished
and shiny, and worrying about the age of our cognac. And don't
forget--to get all that crap you need to spend at least a couple hours
a week being productive. Personally, I'll stick to my
girlfriend, her piece of shit car, doing my own grocery shopping, and
dollar drafts of Genny Cream at Hugo's. And keeping up my Quake
stats, of course.
That's a full-time job as it is.
Our Mission, Part III.
To eliminate from our lives the
need for worldy possessions and financial security. Who
needs 'em when you've got Quake?
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